Mr Beeley’s pre-Stag drinks…
Saturday, November 14th, 2009Last night we joined The Infidel Boat Club (TIBC) – the drinking arm of the Girton Alumni Rowing club at their annual dinner – mainly as a warm up for Mr Beeley’s stag.
Venue was the Oxford and Cambridge club – one of those stuffy ex-Gentlemen’s clubs on Pall Mall which always look attractive to begin with until you find out the various archaic and idiotic rules that make them totally impractical in the 21st century. Like you have to be wearing a jacket to order at the bar, you’re not allowed to use your mobile in the building and the barman is a complete jobsworth…
http://www.oxfordandcambridgeclub.co.uk/
There seems to be a tradition with Cambridge barmen at least that they’d generally prefer their bar without customers and that every effort towards “service” is taken reluctantly. Tom the old barman at Girton was just the same.
Here’s how the dialog went for me, around 10pm.
Me: “Hi, can I have 7 pints of Youngs and a Highland Malt please?”
Jobsworth Barman: “Where’s your empty glasses?”
Me: ”Er…here, here and here.”
(glasses are 1970′s beer mugs)
(barman begins to refill empty glasses with beer – no rinse or sign of new glasses)
Jobsworth Barman: ”I should send you to the pub if you want to order beer”
Me: ”I’m sorry?”
Jobsworth Barman: ”This bar is for sophisticated drinks – if you want to drink beer, go to the pub”
(barman continues to pour pints)
Jobsworth Barman: ”Where’s your member?”
Me: ”I’m sorry?”
Jobsworth Barman: ”Your member. You have to have a member if you want to drink in the bar.”
Me: ”Er. We paid to come here for a dinner with our college, We don’t have a member”.
Jobsworth Barman: ”You need to have a member to drink in this bar”.
(barman hands over 7 pints and a whiskey)
Jobsworth Barman: ”Twenty one pounds fifty please”
(I hand over 30)
Jobsworth Barman: ”Do you have anything smaller?”
Me: ”No sorry I have no change”.
(barman fusses and fumbles with change. He has plenty)
Jobsworth Barman: ”This is your last round”.
Now if that doesn’t make you want to be a member of this exclusive club, what will?
Oxford and Cambridge club – if you’re reading – it’s time to change your barstaff. Oh and the silly rules about jackets.
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