skiing for beginners
Posted in Poetry | By tim |
I sit in the chairlift. The slope falls away
I’m sure there is something amiss
Only two days instruction and skis that don‘t fit
Are they sure that I‘m ready for this?
The chair hits halfway : there‘s no turning back
But my sturdy knees have gone weak
In all the excitement I forget to get off
And now I‘m stood alone at the peak.
Taking the challenge, I push myself off
The bottom drops out of my world
I feel like I‘ve left my stomach behind
And this tale can only unfold
I can‘t see a thing through the snow on my goggles
And the speed‘s really picking up now
I try to think about finding the brakes
But it‘s more than my brain will allow
All I can hear are those magic words:
“Beginners, never ski from the top.
Pull in your knees and push out your toes.
Tomorrow we‘ll learn how to stop.”
So with trees shooting past me like bullets
And the skis getting straighter and straighter
The fence at the bottom is coming so fast
And with it my hope growing fainter.
And then when I thought it was all but over
A drift seems to come my way
I‘d like to think that I steered towards it
But, well, it wasn‘t my lucky day
Now buried alive in six foot of snow
The best thing is knowing I‘ve stopped
I can categorically say that my first attempt
will be neatly described as a flop
As I stand up and dig the snow from my ears
I can feel myself turning bright red
There are hundreds of people clapping for me
I think bollocks‘ is the word to be said
I‘ve long been a believer in justice
And perhaps I‘ve had my reward
It‘s the broken skis and the torn salopettes
That I shouldn’t have to afford
So it‘s back to the novice slopes for me
I’m not really up to the pace
I went there just for some fun in the snow
But came back with egg-on-my-face
There’s only so much I can take in a day
Not that I do things by halves
But skiing has lost its attraction for me
And next time? I‘ll try the Algarve . . ..
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